.Option 1: The Piggy Backer
This option is best used to build on someone else’s point even when it has nothing to do with running or marathoning. The truth is that your marathon training cycle is probably more important than anything others have to say, anyway.
How to use it:
- Listen to someone else’s point closely.
- Transition by using words and phrases that express interest in what others are saying, and then BAM – piggy back on that point and connect it to marathon training.
If the transitional words or phrases are used properly, you can legit convince anyone that the point they’ve made relates perfectly to marathon training.
Speaker 1: I love watching the morning news lately. It’s a nice break from social media.
Runner: And the best part about it is that I can watch it while I’m on my treadmill as I train for a marathon.
Speaker 1: My dog ran away again last night!
Speaker 2: Seriously? I can’t believe it.
Runner: That’s nuts! I can’t believe he ran away again. You should text me next time…I can definitely keep up with any dog who runs away because I’m hitting my highest mileage weeks during marathon training.
Option 2: The Memory Jogger
Ah, the good ol’ days. There’s nothing like spending time with old friends and talking about how great your younger years were…followed by interjecting how your current years are better because (drum roll please) YOU’RE TRAINING FOR A MARATHON! The memory jogger option is best used when reminiscing with family and friends.
How to use it:
- Laugh at your friend’s story and nod in agreement that it was funny/a great time and that it’s a wonderful memory.
- Agree by using a phrase such as, “Man, you’re right – those were some good times…”
- Interject a transitional word that shows disagreement (such as “but”).
- Make a point about how you’re training for a marathon.
Speaker 1: Do you guys remember the time we went through the car wash and forgot the windows were down?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh; I forgot all about that until now!
Runner: *laughs lightly* That was definitely one for the books. I was soaked. Nowadays, I wish I could run myself through a car wash to cool off after my 16 milers during this marathon training cycle!
Speaker 1: Remember when I used to have a brain? This mom brain kills me now. Remember when Gracie was first born and I accidentally put the tea kettle in the fridge?
Runner: Yes I do remember that! I couldn’t figure out why that thing was in your fridge. I feel you, though. Nowadays, all I can keep track of is how many miles I am supposed to run for marathon training!
Option 3: The Sympathizer
Having sympathy for others doesn’t mean it has to be all about them. After all, you’re training for a marathon, and everyone needs to know about it. This option is best used at calling hours and when pets pass away.
How to use it:
- Look the other person in their eyes and express your sadness over his/her loss.
- Make a dedication that involves running OR generate a memory about the deceased that has to do with running.
- Slip in that you’re training for the marathon distance.
Runner: *in the funeral line* Janet, your husband was such a great man. I’m so sorry for your loss. I am going to dedicate my next run to him. The next training run that’s part of my marathon training cycle.
Runner: I’m sorry that your dog passed away. He was so fun and he was definitely wild. He bolted so fast! He could have run with me. It’s too bad I won’t be able to take him on my next marathon training run.
Option 4: The Empathizer
It’s important to be empathetic and try to understand what others are going through. However, just because your friend is going through a divorce or your mom has a cold doesn’t meant that you need to stop talking about marathon training. Your training obviously doesn’t stop because other people have things going on, and they should be made well-aware of that.
How to use it:
- Listen to what the other person is going through.
- Make a statement such as, “I totally understand.”
- Interject how what they’re going through is nothing compared to your long run for the week.
Speaker: I just don’t understand. I thought he loved me.
Runner: I know, Jess. I totally understand how you feel. This shit is hard…almost as hard as running 15 miles at one time during a marathon training run.
Speaker: This flu totally knocked me down. I never felt that exhausted before.
Runner: I totally get it. I was super exhausted after my long run this week for marathon training. It was killer!
Option 5: The Over-dramatizer
Others need to understand that nothing is as difficult as training for a marathon. Your job is to make sure you fluff up just how tough it is when someone asks you something simple such as how training is going. If someone opens the door for you to discuss marathon training, you need to make the most of it.
HOW TO USE IT:
- Listen to the question someone asks you about marathon training.
- Answer in a way that over-dramatizes what it’s like to train and/or provides way more information than necessary.
Speaker: How far is your long run this weekend?
Runner: It’s 16 miles, but I know that it’s going to feel more like 20. I have a lot of elevation gain on my route [this is the perfect time to pull out an elevation map]. I’m starting near my home and I’m not sure if you know about the area where I live, but the pavement is really uneven and that can aggravate my IT band. Because of that, I will definitely need to foam roll as soon as I get home.
Speaker: What kind of shoes do you wear to train?
Runner: I wear the Mizuno Wave Horizon 3. When I first began running, I wore ASICS. I like them, but I realized I was wearing a neutral shoe. Have you ever had a gait analysis? You should definitely get one. You can learn more about your arches and if you pronate. Once I figured out that I needed a support shoe, I tried the Brooks Pure Cadence 4. They were great, but they’re low drop. I don’t do well in low-drop because I get pain in my Achilles sometimes. I’ve tried New Balance, too, but I ultimately went with Mizuno.
Option 6: The Hunger Buster
Anytime you go out to eat or you talk about food, you should absolutely discuss the hunger that comes with marathon training and/or the concept of carb-loading. Otherwise, what is the point of the conversation? Everyone should know that you eat more than them, obviously.
How to use it:
- Whenever someone makes a point about food, one-up them by talking about how marathon training makes you eat more or eat better than that person.
- You can also use this option to inform your server why you’re ordering your choice.
Speaker 1: I’m really in the mood for pizza.
Speaker 2: Let’s order one!
Runner: I’m all for it. I ran 22.7 miles this weekend alone, so I am starving and need the carbs.
Server: What can I get you?
Runner: I’ll take the shrimp pasta. It seems like a good combo of carbs and protein, and I’m training for a marathon, so I need both of those things.
Option 7: The Advisor
Training for a marathon basically makes you a physical therapist, medical doctor, and the equivalent of Runners World. You know everything, and you should make clear that training for a marathon is how you solve every problem ever.
How to use it:
- Listen to what the other person is asking regardless of whether or not you’re part of the conversation.
- Interject your unsolicited advice regarding what caused the problem and that running will solve it.
*You overhear two strangers talking in the grocery store*
Speaker 1: So great to see you! I just left my doctor’s office for lower back pain.
Speaker 2: Oh no! What did he say was the —
Runner: Sorry to interrupt. Over 70% of Americans experience back pain because they’re not physically active. You should consider running and training for a marathon. It’s changed my life, and I know it will change yours!
Speaker 1: I joined the gym. I want to start spinning.
Runner: Spinning is great, but it’s not as good of a workout as running. You would be much better off training for a marathon.
Option 8: The Quantifier
Numbers can only REALLY equate to one thing: miles or kilometers or race-related spending. Regardless of what your child’s homework is about or what your tax consultant is trying to tell you, it’s essential to equate those numbers into anything running as it relate to marathon training.
How to use it:
- While the other person is spitting out quantitative data or numbers, try to do some simple math in your head to see how you can convert said numbers into mileage or race fee equivalents.
- Relate the numbers to where you are in marathon training.
Speaker 1: Mom, I need help with this word problem. The mailman has to deliver to six houses over the course of four streets. What is the average number of pieces of mail he delivers on each street?
Runner: Hmmm…well, let me think. Each street is about one tenth of a mile, so the mailman treks about .4 miles, which is 1/3 of my warm-up during any run for marathon training. Does that help?
Speaker 1: Based on our records, it looks like you’re owed a refund of $500. How would you like to receive it?
Runner: …can I have a voucher for running shoes since I go through so many pair during marathon training?
If someone tells you that you talk about your marathon too much, you should just get rid of that person. You don’t need that kind of negativity.
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